Tension and conflict are givens. They are normal, frequent, and necessary for growth. Two or more individuals who gather and interact with one another will, over time, have different ideas as to how things should be. It is not possible to be insulated from this reality. Can you think of any individuals or churches in the Bible who experienced conflict or disagreement with their brethren? The harder question might be, "can you think of anyone who did not experience conflict with one of his or her brethren?" Helen Keller could not communicate with her family or teacher for a very long time, but even she had many differences of opinion with those she was in physical contact with, and until she was led out of her dark silent world her response was often violently explosive. Knowing that tension is normal, work with it, and do not deny its existence. Those who claim no conflict exists in their fellowship are either in denial or have not taken the time to really look. We must not be afraid of tension or conflict, but we must also not be afraid to properly face it. Accepting the reality that some degree of tension and conflict is an ever present force is not to say that explosive, ugly, unChristlike behavior is something that should be expected or permitted. The New Testament teaches us that disagreements may give rise to anger, but we are never to allow anger to lead us into sin, and if we reach a point where we do not love our brother, then we have sinned and the love of God is not in us. If we learn to recognize conflict for what it is, and learn and grow from it, we will be the better for the experience, but if we turn a blind eye to difficulty it will get the better of us.

In popular models like that of Speed B. Leas of the Alban Institute and others, conflict is understood according to intensity and personal emotional involvement. These consultants use a series of levels or stages to identify and define conflict as they look for healthy solutions.

Level 1 conflict is lowest on the scale and is a win/win situation. Expectations are realistic, a problem exists or arises to be solved, and those involved have the opportunity to collaboratively solve a problem with little emotional investment. Those involved can gather or consult the necessary resources to use trust, clear logic, and good listening, problem-solving, and decision-making skills to effectively work through the difficulty. Using the aforementioned tools along with a good working knowledge of church structure and polity can almost always produce a win/win outcome.

Level 2 conflict thickens, primarily because no effective effort was made at Level 1, and now a rift is beginning to grow among personalities. Because the focus has moved from a problem to be solved to people to be reckoned with, the real issues can become clouded. The early stages of a "they and we" and "them and us" attitude can be seen. This level is still a win/win opportunity, but it will take certain effort toward negotiation. Along with the skills necessary for solving Level 1 conflicts are analytical, self-awareness, and mediation skills and an understanding of power and control dynamics. The key at Level 2 is to not let things escalate to the point where individuals become antagonistic towards one another. The more things slide toward a person versus person issue, the more likely the real conflict will be buried in the race to conquer the "enemy."

Level 3 can be clearly recognized when the conflict has degenerated into a personal war. The "enemy" is the other individual or group, there is resistance to a peaceful solution, and members begin to threaten to leave. At this level there is a high degree of distortion and misinformation, and as many as 30% of the congregation have become aware of the trouble. The shift now is for someone to be declared the "winner," which also means someone will be the "loser." It is very unlikely that this conflict can be properly handled in a healthy way without

the intervention of an experienced third-party consultant or mediator. Skills required for resolution continue to grow. In addition to those needed in Levels 1 and 2 are skills for designing and negotiating contracts, a clear recognition of one's own limits, an understanding of the interaction of personality types, and the ability to develop a clear process of decision-making. Level 3 is a make or break level, because when the conflict escalates beyond here there is little hope of a positive outcome. The church teeters on a precipice and can fall either way.

At Level 4 the conflict is openly ugly and has become a lose/lose situation. Almost all energy is spent on the "contest" or "war." Opposing sides are drawn and very clear, and it is not enough to win. Someone must be gotten rid of. There is a lot of self-righteous talk from everyone involved, very little acceptable conversation between "sides," much babble about principles and ideals, and a desire to not only oust the opposition, but to do it in a fashion that will hurt the "offender(s)." Because so much energy is given to the fight, church growth will almost always cease. Christ-like ministry has become as unimportant as Christ-like attitudes are absent. A church can maintain this demoralizing, hurtful, life-robbing level for years, even decades. The members will grudgingly and numbly plod through the routines of doing "church," but there is little evidence of the nature and body of Christ. A very skilled mediator with much knowledge of more specialized and professional resources is now needed, and there must be a careful adherence to church structure and polity guidelines in regards to the legal and authority issues that will come up. The reason a church might live at this level for years is because they have refused to deal with the heart of the real issues carried over from earlier levels. Even though pastors change and some families leave while others drift in, the real problem has never been properly addressed. Wrongs, misunderstandings, bad attitudes, poor judgement, and sin is swept aside and hidden in the hope that all will get better on its own.

Level 5 is the sad and inevitable result of an unresolved Level 4. The conflict is completely unmanageable, and in fact, the real problem may not even be remembered or understood. Personalities have become the only issue of importance, and there is a vindictive obsession to punish the "troublemaker(s)." Emotions run high and often go unchecked giving rise to abusive, cruel, disrespectful, and vulgar speech. Actions, no matter how hateful and unChristike, are justified. The offending individual(s) must now not only be ousted but punished so they will not find a place of service or worship anyplace else. This level is highly destructive, and by now most in the community are fully aware of the dirty laundry being hung. The church is usually in a state of decline, and even after a new pastor or two have come and gone, many of the same disputes are repeated with the same or similar negative and powerless conclusions. It is like living inside a pressure cooker where everyone knows they are being cooked alive, and they are waiting uncomfortably for the next wave of trouble in this cycle of destruction.

Conflict is a part of life, inside church and outside. What we do with conflict is our decision, but we are guaranteed pain and misery as a consequence if we fail to be Godly stewards in handling the conflict. The flesh says, "settle it to your own liking, and anyone who doesn't agree can get right or get lost." There is hurt, bitterness, uncontrolled anger, rage, meanness, and vengeance written all over the sad soul who seeks his own way. Jesus would have us face and solve our conflicts in a way that brings honor to Him and builds up the entire body of Christ. His is a redemptive approach always looking out for the interests of others. Words like teachable, forgiving, patient, kind, and gentle come to mind.